I’m starting off this week alright. I’ve yet to see the rest of it. I hope it’s better than last week because last week I didn’t really do much. I’ve been so moody latley. I’m sorry. Sometimes I feel like everything I’m doing is wrong, or everything I think shouldn’t be thought. I don’t know to keep going, or to stop? Feeling guilty shouldn’t become a habit. Forming negatativity is not the way.
People live their live’s with no regrets, but there’s some people you wish you never met. If that even makes sense. Why though? Maybe they came into your life for a purpose, or maybe not.
shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
how i’m always feeling like. why lost? because for some reason i feel like nobody bothers to fucking awknoledge my existance. i sound like i’m really exagerating. i probably am, but that’s exactly how it feels. feeling like, all your ” so called friends” just never wanna do anything with you anymore and w/e. i don’t even know. nobody calls me up anymore. nobody fucking text’s anymore, rarley. oh and on top of that, my luck with guys FUCKING SUCKS.
Bro, I haven’t gone anywhere in so long. It’s like I’m trapped in my house. And the worst part, I do it to myself. I could be going out, my parents don’t give a fuck, but I have nobody to go with! Everyone’s doing their own thing, or I just don’t have your number because I lost it. I need need to go out. I don’t wanna become someone who fucking has so much time on their hands. I need to get out. Uh, well I’ve been bonding with my dad. It’s weird, but I like it. My parents are starting to trust me way more, which is good. W/e treva
I totally forgot about this! I never live up to writing in my journals. That’s typical of me; start something, never finish. I’m a big procrastinator also, so I probably just kept pushing this aside. I haven’t even completed my summer reading and school starts in less than a month. I’m hopeless! Anyways, there’s been a lot going on I guess you can say. Nothing special, but things have been happening. I’ve grown this summer. I can’t say if it’s for the better, but I just hope it is. I’m learning now to accept things as they come. I worry more than ever though. My parents think I’m starting to become a hypochondriac. I think I am. That’s horrible, but I’m trying to overcome that. I’m really vunerable sometimes, but I’m trying to overcome that too. I miss my friends. I miss Geena. I miss old times. I hate drifting, but shit happens. Whatever. I went to a getty last weekend and fucking went crazy. I got pretty buzzed. Hooked up with people. It was weird. I don’t want to create a bad rep. But w/e. I do what I want nigga. Oh, warped was fun! I can’t complain. I threw up, skanked, spent time with friends, blah blah. It was good. I saw Batman. It was fucking amazing. I love love love Heath Ledger. I wish he was still alive. LOL I really do! Umm, I’m trying to bond with my mom more. Trying to be more open with her, and I’m glad because it’s working? I made her cry the other day though -_- I felt really bad. She said she was disapointed in me, and that’s a little worse than being mad in my opinion. Things with my dad and I are whatever. Could be better. Ummm, I hope everythings fine, and I hope I’m ok. I always complain and think of the worst. -sigh- I finally hung out with Nancy. We caught up on a lot. It was nice. I saw Jiro today, we caught up. It was nice. I’ve been practicing a lot. It’s tiring, but I love cheerleading. We’re almost finished with our routine. I’m super excited. And yeah, I’m just living life day by day. Luvvin it.<3